Trisha Richmeier has two children, a 9-year-old daughter and 6-year-old son, and has found parenthood fulfilling. Richmeier admits it's a bit nutty - her husband Jason thinks so - but says she loved being pregnant.

After their second child, Richmeier, associate director of research at KU School of Medicine-Wichita, and her husband agreed their family was complete. They decided two children was the right number for them.

Still, "I felt like I wanted another pregnancy," Richmeier said. Seeing the emotional and physical struggles with infertility that a friend and his wife went through before having a child, "I knew this was something I could do to help people who didn't have a family like I have," she said.  

That "something" led her to become a gestational surrogate, carrying a baby conceived through in vitro fertilization and implanted in her body. In January, Richmeier is set to deliver the baby of a Chinese couple that had struggled for decades to have a child of their own.  

The surrogacy process

Richmeier had looked into surrogacy previously but became serious about the possibility about two years ago. She knew the issue, like most involving reproduction, would be viewed by some as controversial.  

Surrogacy is legal in Kansas, though not in all states and countries. It's illegal within China, but children born to Chinese couples outside the country's borders - as in Richmeier's case - are legally recognized. The child she carries will have dual Chinese-U.S. citizenship, though the parents plan to raise it in China.  

Richmeier researched agencies in the U.S. handling surrogate births to ensure she found one that was above board and with which she was comfortable. She and her husband discussed her desire to be a surrogate, and he was supportive. After contacting the California-based agency, she applied and went through a multi-stage vetting process, including phone interviews, a physical exam and eventually a psychiatric evaluation. Having cleared those hurdles, the match process began with the agency, which has coordinated more than 1,300 surrogate births.  

"The surrogate gets the intended parents' profile first," she said, describing how matching works. "The surrogate gets the first chance to say yes or no. I got one profile and said yes. But they said no. My second profile, I said no."  

Eventually, after some back and forth, she received the Chinese couple's profile. "They were a very lovely couple. I said yes, and they said yes to me." Richmeier and her husband, with a translator, had an extensive Skype conversation with the couple before sealing the deal.  

The Chinese couple had only one embryo available. Another collection effort was made but proved ineffective. So, with only one shot at having the couple's baby, Richmeier began an involved process to ensure the best chance of success. She took fertility shots and underwent regular testing to ensure the optimal time for implantation.  

In early May, she and her husband flew to California, where the fertilized embryo was implanted on May 9, an event that "was pretty anticlimactic." Afterward, she went back to their hotel for bed rest and soon "emailed the intended parents that I hoped it was going to be a happy Mother's Day." It proved to be.    

A baby's on the way

The pregnancy has gone well. Each week Richmeier talks with an agency caseworker and emails with the parents-to-be, keeping them apprised on how it's going. She undergoes regular pregnancy care from her own obstetrician, who will deliver the baby in Wichita in late January with the parents present. Recently she did legal paperwork so that the transfer goes smoothly after the baby's birth.  

Richmeier's health plan doesn't cover surrogate pregnancy, so the agency and parents-to-be purchased medical insurance to cover the delivery and other expenses. Richmeier receives a stipend and payment for carrying and delivering the baby but says she's doing it because she can help someone and not for the money.  

"It's a marathon, not a sprint. You have to be serious about it," she said. "If you took all the money and divided it by time spent, it would be less than minimum wage."  

Throughout the process and pregnancy, she's had contact with other surrogates - including some in Wichita and elsewhere in Kansas - via an online support group. "There are some women who do this independently. I don't know how they do this on their own," she said.  

Her husband has backed her throughout, though he suspects some insanity on her part for willingly going through the discomfort of pregnancy for another couple's child. "Jason understands this is a dream of mine, and he supports it. He's very excited for the parents. Seeing how excited they were, he got a little teary eyed. He knows how fulfilling children are in our lives."  

Her children are in the loop, too, including the 9-year-old who has explained to others that, yes, her mother is pregnant but it's someone else's child. "They understand that some mommies and daddies can't have babies on their own. They roll with the punches. They know it's something important and have seen pictures of the couple. They're good kids. I'm pretty lucky."          

Richmeier hopes to receive occasional updates and photos from the parents, but she knows that distance and time could mean that might not happen.  

"I don't see it as me giving up the baby; it's me giving it back," said 37-year-old Richmeier. She says she's "one and done" when it comes to surrogacy. "This is kind of a bucket list thing I wanted to do to help somebody," Richmeier said, "but I think I'll be ready to reclaim my body."